This is Mary Kay in happier times, about ten years ago I think. I'd like to remember that, because life was not always good to Mary Kay, most grievously to her when her beloved husband Jordin died unexpectedly after heart surgery four years ago. Since that time she had felt utterly bereft and was often incommunicato, to the distress and frustration of her friends, which is essentially why it wasn't realized immediately that she had died very recently of a blood infection. The news was passed on through a couple of hands and I don't know any more than that.Mary Kay was from Oklahoma, and though she remained in touch with her family, she tended to describe home and family alike as something she was glad to escape from. A career as a catalog librarian was part of that escape; she worked for several years in quality control for OCLC (known to the general public as the proprietors of WorldCat) in Ohio. But as with a lot of us in that field, her career stalled when posts ran out and she fell out of the current swim. I was able to get her an interview for an open post once at a library where I was working, but it didn't get any further than that.
It was fandom which really caused Mary Kay to blossom. She was a conrunner, she was a smof, she was a Hugo administrator, she was an apahack, she was a filker, she was active in our local Mythopoeic Society discussion group, she was like many fans a loving cat-owner. She met Jordin at a Worldcon, and they were a devoted couple ever after. The only catch was that Jordin's work required him to spend a lot of time in Seattle, and Mary Kay was very sensitive to weather and could not handle the overcast climate. They tried a number of solutions - part-time here, part-time there; living separated part of the time; before finally being able to settle in San Jose several years back.
Mary Kay at her best was intelligent and invigorating and a great person for conversations about books and cats. I wish we could have done more to alleviate the depression and the self-deprecation that loomed over her so much, darkening even the earlier years and getting worse over time. But she could be hard to reach, both in terms of establishing conversation and in pursuing the conversation you're having. I'm sorry things didn't work out better for her.
I am so sorry to hear this. I mostly knew Mary Kay from Worldcons and Smofcons and sometimes online. She and Jordin sometimes came to Boskone. She could be so funny, we laughed a lot back in the day. Damn.
ReplyDeleteOh my, this is a shock. I'm very sorry to hear this. Mary Kay was always one of my favorite people at Worldcon.
ReplyDeleteVery sad news. I met Mary Kay in the 80's when we were both members of the apa MYRIAD, and then later we met in person at conventions. I never saw the depression memtioned above in those years and found Mary Kay to be a delightful person. She has the distinction of being the last person I ever danced with at some long ago convention, which I think would have amused her. I last saw her at Loncon3 in 2014 where we both laughed at being older and slower, but Mary Kay was no less delightful. I miss her already.
ReplyDeleteCurt Phillips
I'm sorry to hear this, and thank you for this write-up.
ReplyDeleteMary Kay could sometimes be crabby and difficult, but at her best she was wonderful and we were sad when she moved from Seattle. The last time we saw her was at the Dublin Worldcon. Suzle and I are both sad to know we'll never see her again.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. I knew her most from WisCon and worldcon. I liked her.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this remembrance. I didn't really know her well, but we had a nodding acquaintance at Mythcon and other MythSoc venues. --David Lenander
ReplyDeleteYes, thank you for this, David. I knew Mary Kay best when she lived in Seattle. She gave wonderful parties for the SF community and Clarion West, and superb dinner parties for her friends. We were both fans of FiestaWare, and she had a great collection, so dinners were very colorful, and she was always a lively hostess. We met once a week at a tea shop to write and chat. I lost touch with her after Jordin died, as I think she retreated from people a bit. I'm sorry to hear that she's gone. That's a great photo of her. -- Eileen Gunn
ReplyDeleteSuch unhappy news, but then I knew how unhappy she'd been since losing Jordan and I hurt for her. I will always cherish memories of them both.
ReplyDeleteThis is very sad news. I "met" her on rassf in the 90s, and liked her a great deal.
ReplyDeleteKathy Routliffe