how to copy a key

1. Notice that a local supermarket has installed a self-service key copier.

2. Go there when you wish to make an extra copy of your front door key.

3. Insert the key to copy, then page through a whole series of screens offering extra-cost options you don't want.

4. Take the completed key home, and find it doesn't fit in the keyhole. Uh-oh.

5. Try your old key. It doesn't fit in the keyhole either.

6. Panic briefly, then realize that you'd picked the wrong key. This isn't your front door key. (Excuse for this boneheaded error: you're ill, and have been very tired.)

7. Return to the supermarket. Insert the right key this time. Notice that it wobbles a little in the slot.

8. Take the completed key home. It fits in the keyhole, but won't turn.

9. Return to the supermarket. Wobble the key in the other direction this time.

10. Take the completed key home. It won't turn either.

11. Go to the key counter at the local hardware store. Wait while the previous customer chooses among two kiosks of key designs.

12. It's your turn. Clerk rolls his eyes slightly ("What did you expect?") when you tell him you used a self-service machine and it didn't work.

13. Take the completed key home. It works. Cost less than the one at the supermarket, too.