1. "The World Isn't Doomed," says the headline. Read the article, though, and you'll realize that it still is.
2. What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
3. Please don't ever "help anybody again." With help like this, we don't need hindrance!
4. Epic legal sarcasm, anti-Trump dept.: "Should your client actually be elected Commander-in-Chief, will you be the one writing the cease and desist letters to Vladimir Putin, or will that be handled by outside counsel?"
5. There is nothing more delectable than a keenly analytical review of a series of lousy novels.
6. The best that The Force Awakens can do is be "on par with the average quality of the first three movies." That's not good enough to make me want to see it.