Monday, March 5, 2018

Oscar the critic

True, I enjoy watching Oscar broadcasts. I prepared a meatloaf before the broadcast began at 5 pm - having finally realized (I'm slow) that I ought to scramble the other ingredients together before adding the ground turkey, to aid in evenly mixing it - and popped it in the oven during the first commercial break, to minimize the amount of time I had to spend not watching the show.


*Isn't encouraging winners to speak out on social issues and offering them a jet ski if they're brief kind of a contradictory message? As well as a piece of tone-deaf conspicuous consumption?

*And it didn't work, the costume designer who wrapped it up in some 30 seconds being such an obvious winner that nobody else need try. My heart was with Roger Deakins, who began by saying he'd better think of something to say or he might wind up with a jet ski. I wouldn't want one either, nor would I have any place to put it. (Temporary possession of a third car - my mother's after her death, until the title cleared and we could sell it - stumped me until I rented a storage locker large enough to drive a car into.)

*And of course Best Costume Design went to the movie that was about costume design.

*Despite Kimmel promising they wouldn't do that, the orchestra did try to nudge over-wordy winners offstage with music, they just didn't try to drown the speakers out with it. I like the idea of multiple winners for one award all getting to speak with each successive one being briefer; I don't like the second guy (it's always men) thanking the same body of co-workers the first guy thanked.

*Best Picture went to what my ever-witty friend Lee calls Mutey and the Beast, a movie that touches on countering as many different forms of prejudice as they could fit in one story. It's also either SF or fantasy, I'm not sure which, the Oscar glory of which is another old prejudice overcome. I haven't seen it yet, but would like to as soon as it hits Redbox.

*Warren Beatty, you should have handed the card to Faye Dunaway to read again. Looking puzzled again first would have been a bonus.

*What on earth Frances McDormand was talking about.

*Surprising a bunch of civilians who care so little about the Oscars that they went to do something else that evening was old the first time it was done.

*Biggest surprise to me, Eva Marie Saint calling Hitchcock "Fred." I didn't know that was his nickname; I didn't know he ever used one.

*Least welcome form of diversity: equal time for Best Song nominee presenters who can't sing. (Me to B: "That was epically microtonal.") At least the ones who could sing were so powerful they uplifted otherwise unmemorable songs.

*Best host jokes:
1, "We don't make movies like Call Me By Your Name for money. We make them to upset Mike Pence."
2, "Tonight's nominated documentaries show us that where there is darkness, there is also hope. Except at the White House. Hope quit on Wednesday."
Both political, among the few external political moments of the evening.

*Best presenter joke award goes to Mark Hamill for, "Don't say La La Land. Don't say La La Land."

*Most inspiring presenter, Emma Stone for "These four men and Greta Gerwig."

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