Tuesday, August 3, 2021

insolicitation

The phone said, "Hi, this is Sean. How are you doing today?"

And I replied, "I do not take phone calls from people who introduce themselves in that manner," and hung up.

Why? What manner?

First off, only close personal friends should announce themselves by first name alone. But a surname is not what I'm looking for from a stranger. You should begin by saying who you represent or in what capacity you're calling, and giving the reason for your call. Remember that the person you're calling has no idea who you are (which "Sean" doesn't help with: you could be Sean Penn or Sean Hannity for all I know) or what you're calling about. I don't make small talk with a complete black box.

The time to begin a conversation with "How are you doing today?" is if I come into your office and are shown to see you. Then you stand up, stick out your hand (if it's pre-pandemic) and say, "How are you doing today?" In that case I already know who you represent and what the topic of conversation will be, so a little social lubrication beforehand is appropriate.

The only reason to cold-call someone and without any explanation begin by saying "How are you doing today?" is to try to bamboozle people into getting sucked into a conversation before revealing that you're a salesperson or shyster whom the callee would have hung up on already if they'd known it from the beginning. But that trick doesn't work on introverts.

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