Saturday, August 29, 2020

... I wasn't one

So Annette Bening and Bill Nighy are starring in a new movie about a long-married couple who break up. And although they didn't write the script, they have a lot to say about women, men, and relationships.

But of all they say, the part that most struck me was this:
“I don’t like the look of hardly any versions of being male, frankly,” says Nighy. “I never found those expressions of masculinity attractive. When I was younger I’d keep quiet in the company of men because I always felt that I wasn’t one.”
That I wasn't one. That really speaks to me: or did, when I too was younger. Teens, twenties. I didn't feel comfortable classing myself as a boy or man. That implied things I felt I was not. But I never thought I was a woman in the wrong body either. I didn't know what I was.

Eventually I grew comfortable with just being me, and knowing that other men felt the same. Perhaps Nighy did too; notice he speaks in the past tense. There is hope.

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